Thursday, October 18, 2012

I am a very bad blogger!

I know I haven`t posted in months and it actually makes me quite sad because of all the things that have happened or are happening in my life right now. I am now going to start blogging more with recipes and pictures and really anything else weight loss surgery related. I have been a lot more active in my WLS group and doing lots of coffee meetings with the girls rather than sitting at my computer.

Well here I am almost 1 year post op and feeling great. Some days are definitely better than others. I find that the hardest thing for me in the last few months has been dealing with my brain. The only way I can truly explain what happens to you brain after weightloss surgery is that you are mind fucked. I remember having a conversation with a girlfriend of mine this time before my surgery last year saying that if I ever got to me in a size 24 (I was in a size 34 at the time) that I would be more than happy with my journey. Well OMG could I have been anymore wrong. I actually hate what I look like now more than I hated then and I feel like a giant failure. And yes yes I know you are going to say ``Shut up how could you possibly feel this way after losing over 200lbs` but it is the craziest thing. I know I don`t always make the best choices all the time when eating but I am human and I can`t be perfect but I can admit my faults. I find that one of my biggest problems is people checking up on me. I know there is difference between people asking how I am doing and people questioning me. I feel like sometimes that some people are expecting me to fail. I know that is a horrible thing to say but I am just being honest.

Well it is getting late and I have a few other things to work on.. (did I mention that I am moving 3 and half hours away in about a week and half and I am not packed yet)

Anyways blog just know you are always on my mind

Xo PouchGirl